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There are four main takeaways from this very long article. Do not put any of this off, and act as soon as you think that your loved one will need care that is beyond the limits of what you can provide.
As tempting as they may seem, especially as you most likely will be burnt out at several points, do not take shortcuts and leave matters to chance. Do not gloss over medication lists, do not simply choose the closest LTC facility, and do not simply defer to the opinions and suggestions of others without taking a good look at the matters yourself. Choosing avenues of least resistance and maximum ease can have dire consequences for your loved one and yourself in the years to come. Your life’s chapter as a caregiver will be a marathon, and a long-term view is vital to the comfort and quality of care of those you hold dear.
Do not forget to take care of yourself and to make self-care your priority. Just like any triage scenario, you have to ensure your own well-being is taken care of first so that you can effectively take care of the ill, injured, and vulnerable. This means that you should seek help when and where you can, and you should lean on your friends, family, and systems that are in place. Not doing so out of a sense of shame or duty will only end up suffering for you and everyone in your life.
Most people whom I have spoken to admit that there were weeks when they felt hopeless, and this filled them with a dread that followed them around everywhere they went. This despair usually arises from being burnt out and sleep deprived. This will notably occur if you have had to spend a prolonged period at a hospital. When in such states, our faculties to go on long searches for information are strained, and when the resources that we require are not at hand, disheartenment settles in. The vast majority of the population will be or has dealt with exactly your situation, so it is important to remember that you are not alone. Speaking to others may at first be daunting, but in seeing how others open up, you will not only gain more resources to navigate the chapter of being a caregiver but friendships and support from previously unknown sources will make themselves known to you.
Remember, even though it may feel like it at times, you are not alone in this struggle. Lean on others and keep an open mind about the paths in front of you.
Most of all, I wish you peace in this chapter of your life.